


I Caught You Like The Flu

by TheHeartOfStories



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 1918, Alternate Universe - World War I, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, LeviHan Eggschange, LeviHan Week, Marine Corps, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, first female doctor, milk man - Freeform, spanish influenza, world war 1 veteran
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23995798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHeartOfStories/pseuds/TheHeartOfStories
Summary: The Autumn of 1918 saw the rise of the second wave of the Spanish Influenza as well as the fall of World War One. But now, Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman is nothing more than a simple milkman. Then, he is surprised to find more than his shell-shock nightmares along his regular milk route: the homeless Doctor Hanji Zoe. When the woman who saved his life before the end of the war stumbles back into it, he comes face-to-face with an enemy even he can't fight.Feel free to talk to me on Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/theheartofstoriesWhenever I write, I need music, so I created a Spotify playlist for this story! This is the link:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6yuPVpzxsPmZI9nSHQdL17?si=j__4cIvlRkS6KredLcfrdwIf the link doesn't work, you can find it by typing, "I Caught You Like The Flu" in that website's search bar. Please feel free to let me know if you're having problems finding it.
Relationships: Hange Zoë/Levi
Comments: 33
Kudos: 112





	1. Breakfast With Raccoons

In the distance of a far-away reality, a tiny tin hammer struck the worn side of a little bell.

_He was smeared with frozen mud and hot blood, the warmth of his shallow breaths clouding above his chapped lips. One of his lavender lids fluttered open against the cold winter sunlight, and the towering evergreens twirled around the edges of his foggy vision. His red ears were filled with a piercing ring, and he moaned as he brought a hand before his stinging face._

_He sucked in sharply at the sight of his outstretched hand. Crimson spurted down his calloused palm and wrist from splintering bone nubs where his index and middle fingers used to be. He let it fall to his left cheek, his ring finger and pinky faltering in shaky spasms as he ripped slices of shrapnel from his burning flesh._

The little bell cried out, its soprano lost to his body’s agony.

_Over the ringing, he heard the distant shouts of enemies. A bolt of clarity shot through his mind’s haze, calling forth a swell of unknown strength to the sinews of his screaming muscles._

_‘Protect our people -- whatever it takes,’ Commander Erwin’s words caught fire to the marrow of his broken bones._

_With a grunt of boiling rage, he rolled onto his churning stomach, his hands pushing his chest up as he brought his knees under his body to drag himself back onto his cold feet._

The bell tolled.

“Farlan,” Levi croaked.

Soft moonlight danced through the crack between the pale curtains.

The white cotton bed covers were strewn about the twin mattress, his pillow damp from the sweat beads that had traced down his furrowed brow, his beating temple, the rising fall of his scarred cheekbone, and onto its stitched casing.

Levi groaned as the clanging of the little bell from his ticking clock roused him fully awake, his throat raw from the screams of another night filled with shell-shock nightmares. He brought his trembling hands up to his face, pressing the ball of his palm into his good gray eye while his other hand of only three fingers gently wiped the sleep from the purple creases of his scars.

He swallowed and sat up, reaching over himself to untangle his ankle from the monstrous sheets that called him back into the evergreen battlefield of his past horrors. Then he threw his legs over the edge of the bed, his toes just barely brushing the tan carpet. His hand groped for his bifocals, and he pushed its thin frame up the bridge of his slender nose before turning off his alarm.

The clock hands pointed to 3:15 AM.

A tired sigh escaped his lips as he meticulously made the bed and changed into a cream button down shirt with comfortable gray slacks, the tail of his shirt carefully tucked into his black leather belt. Then he finished readying himself in the bathroom, but he cautiously kept his back towards the clean mirror to avoid seeing the ghost of his own reflection.

His three fingers scratched at his clean-shaven jawline as he strode into the living room, opening up his coat closet to throw a tan satchel over his shoulder, and then he crouched down in front of the doorway. He slipped his feet into his black leather shoes, laced them up, and left his house, locking the door behind himself.

The quarantined neighborhood was quiet. He smelled pink jasmine on the summer’s lazy breeze as he unchained his cherry red bike from the chipping patio railing. With a grimace, he swung his leg over its frame and pedalled off; its bright paint was too flashy for his taste, but it was better than walking his usual milk route.

Yes, Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, Captain of the Marines’ Special Operations Squad (which had never existed, according to the US military’s official public records) had become nothing more than a simple milkman. But he liked the simplicity of his new job; no one’s life depended upon the arrival of his milk delivery. Well, maybe the littlest of the families he delivered to would disagree with that sort of sentiment, which tugged at the corner of his lips -- the side that could still smile, anyways.

As he wove through the empty streets, guided by nothing more than fading moonlight, he decided to take the winding long way to the grocer’s. He knew that if he pedalled faster than his normal leisurely pace, he would arrive at Jerry’s store roughly around the same time he usually showed up on Wednesday mornings.

Tall bushes of orange and white blossoms gave way to freshly-trimmed palm trees, and Levi could almost taste the salt on the gusts of wind that kissed the spiked tips of their green palms. Soon, he found himself riding the brick sidewalk that ran parallel to the bluest ocean he had ever seen. The high tide crash of the waves at the feet of the worn cliffs plucked at the buried strings of adventure in his chest, and he stole passing looks at the faraway pale seafoam as he journeyed into downtown San Francisco.

Ocean views gave way to red brick mortar and shuttered business windows. A few more turns through the forest of dusty skyscrapers, and he found himself at the back of Jerry’s store where a few other milkmen quietly chuckled together over a cigarette they passed between each other.

He hopped off of his bike and guided it to the ground: no kickstand. Then he walked over to the back door of the shop. One of the milkmen flicked a look over his shoulder as his friends stopped talking at the sight of him. Levi kept the venom of his eyes low with the weight of ostracization sinking his shoulders as his scarred knuckles rapped on the door.

The brass knob turned fast, and Levi jumped back as a round-bellied man burst through the door, two plastic crates filled with jars of cold milk carried in his beefy arms. As Jerry barreled past him, swiftly Levi took the top crate from the older man and followed closely behind him into the distribution lot where the other milkmen stood. Even from behind, he could see the outline of Jerry’s fat cheeks upturned in a smile, which brought a twinge of warmth back into Levi’s chest.

When they reached the group of milkmen, one of them took a long drag of his cigarette before dropping it onto the pavement, smashing its glowing ember out with his scuffed up boot. Then the men carefully filled their tan satchels with the jars, joking around with Jerry, but they were hesitant to approach Levi. His face darkened with a scowl he cast to his polished shoes; just because his ugly ass face was scarred over, he was blind in one eye, and missing a few fingers did not mean he had the Spanish flu too.

The men did not acknowledge him as they finished up nestling a few more of the jars from his crate into their satchels too, leaving just enough for Levi to take as well. Jerry tossed his crate behind his back towards the door he had come through before taking Levi’s crate with one arm. The balding man held out the milk in front of Levi as he quickly filled his own satchel, and then Jerry moved the crate behind his back as his other hand flew with pride to his brow in salute of the younger man.

Levi’s heart pounded in his own chest as he brought himself up to his full height to salute the navy veteran back, a rush of adrenaline giving strength to his tired muscles.

“Thank you for your service,” Jerry winked.

He roared with a great belly laugh. His arms dropped to his sides, and he clapped Levi on the back as he, too, tried to relax with a bark of anxious laughter.

Jerry turned to the others and smiled with rosey cheeks.

“I’ll see you boys tomorrow,” he waved to them as he trudged back to his shop, bending with a grunt to pick up his plastic milk crates.

Levi watched old Jerry disappear behind the dented back door before turning on his heel to go back to his bike. He swung his leg over the seat and pedalled off without so much as a second glance at the other milkmen.

As Levi went about his deliveries, his mind wandered back to the snowy mud of his dreamy war memories.

_His knees buckled, and he slammed back into the icy mud._

_His body screamed at him to give up as he dug his elbows into the frozen earth to drag himself to the nearest tree. The untouched snow felt good against his ravaged flesh, like the cold itself was trying to call him back to a home he couldn’t remember._

_Levi knew he was going to die._

_‘No. Please, not just yet,’ his will pleaded with his body._

_There were still a few more things he needed to do before he could kick the can. He would just have to tell Death to take a fucking rain check._

_The tree bark was rough beneath his skinned palms, but he clawed his way back onto his feet._

_His lungs rattled as he breathed, but the piercing ring from the bomb had begun to fade. The world was awash with the shouts of Russian enemies who had been roused into action by the deafening explosion. Levi knew he had to act fast if he wanted to save his squad._

_His gray eye surveyed the splintered trees, the burning shrapnel, the splatters of steaming crimson all around him in the shadows of fading afternoon light. Then he saw the sun catch on a head of gold._

_“Farlan,” Levi cried out as he forced one leaden leg in front of the other._

_He stumbled from tree to broken tree before he collapsed beside his comrade, his closest friend._

_The smell of Farlan’s scorched flesh brought the taste of bile and iron to Levi’s tongue, but he could not stop himself from retching beside the dying man at the sight of where his leg had been blown off a few inches higher than mid-thigh. The man would have appeared deader than dead if it had not been for the shallow rise and fall of his exposed chest. When Levi regained control over his empty stomach, his trembling hand fell upon Farlan’s left breast._

_At the touch of his shaking fingers, Farlan’s head rolled over, his blue eyes fluttering open with inconceivable consciousness. Levi winced when he saw fragments of blackened bone jutting out from mangled spots on his friend’s face where his skin had been charred and ripped apart._

_This was all Levi’s fault._

_“L-levi,” Farlan rasped. “Is that really you?”_

_“Yeah,” a bitter sob escaped Levi’s shredded lips, “it’s me.”_

_Farlan gave him a dimpled half grin as he raised his bloodied hand. Levi clasped it with his own. Farlan’s eyes widened when he saw his captain had lost some of his fingers._

_Behind them, rabid dogs barked, and trudging footsteps crunched the snow._

_“Find someone else to save,” Farlan wheezed, his face slackening as he pressed his knuckles into Levi’s chest to push him away._

_Fifty or so yards away in the direction he had come from, Levi froze when he realized they could hear a man on the edge of death moaning for help. Then Russian shouts, the click of a gun’s hammer, the crack of a shot, and silence._

_Levi’s and Farlan’s eyes met._

_“There is no one else,” Levi lied._

The echoing crash of a metal trash can down the alley Levi had just passed brought him back to the end of his milk route at the edge of San Francisco's suburbia.

“Shit,” a woman hissed.

Levi hopped off of his bike and backtracked a few yards to stand at the mouth of the alley. There was a massive dumpster at the end of the alley, and its brick walls were lined with a few trash cans. A mussy-haired woman stumbled away from a toppled trash can and into the morning light, her angry fists straightening out the wrinkled collar of her yellow blouse.

Levi cleared his throat, and the woman whipped around.

Her hands fluttered up to her angular face and pushed the scuffed brim of her scratched glasses up the bridge of her hooked nose. Her eyes shot down to the rest of her, and then she jammed her fists deep into her rumpled skirt pockets, a deep scowl on her face.

Levi’s heart jumped into his throat.  
“Hanji?” He raised an eyebrow.

“It’s Doctor Zoe to strangers,” she snapped, taking a step forward.

Levi gritted his teeth and also took a step forward.

“You’re no stranger. It’s Levi.”

Her nose wrinkled, and he rolled his eyes.

“Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman. We’ve met before.”

A spark of recognition lit up her brown eyes.

“Oh my gosh, I didn’t recognize you,” she squealed excitedly, her hands raised above her head in surprise.

Levi felt his cheeks color with the memory of how he used to be popular with the ladies back in his school days. Now he was lucky enough to be popular even with himself every so often.

Hanji pranced up beside him, a warm smile on her rosey lips, and he rested his good hand over the other as he gripped his satchel’s strap with white knuckles.

“What were you doing with those trash cans?”

Her freckled cheeks flushed with color.

“Never one for pleasantries, were you?”

She walked past him to stand on the sidewalk, and he followed her, hesitantly coming a bit closer to her. He had to stop himself from jumping back when his nose burned with the smell of her as she turned on her heel to face him again, her hands clasped behind her back. He noticed a smudge of grime across her strong chin.

“Well?” His eyes narrowed, and she sighed.

Her stomach growled loudly, and he caught her eyes widen before she hung her head. Rebellious tendrils of chestnut hair kissed her neck.

“Were you digging through the trash for food?”

He kept his face expressionless despite the ache in his chest for the girl who had once brought butterflies to his stomach with her unlady-like bellows of laughter in the Nurses’ Tent.  
“I seem to have fallen upon hard times.”

She wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“But didn’t you say you are a doctor now?”

Doctors seemed to be doing quite well with the rising intensity of the Spanish flu pandemic, and, with her experienced background, he knew her skill was invaluable.

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes.

“No one wants a woman doctor, even if it means the difference between life and death!”

Her shoulders fell with a huff of irritation. She crossed her arms over her chest, pride tapping the toe of her little shoe against the cracked concrete.

Levi threw open his satchel and pulled out the last jar of not-so-cold milk. It was his personal jar, but he knew he could buy another from Jerry tomorrow anyways. He held it out to Hanji, and her lips parted.

“You should take this home.”

She worried her bottom lip, her brows furrowed.

“I -- y-you should keep it!”

He shook his head, his bangs tracing his pale cheeks.

“I insist. I’m a milkman, so I can just get another bottle tomorrow when I go back to work.”

“Really, though, I can’t take it.”

“Why,” he growled.

Did she not want it because of the way he looked now? He had been so careful to offer it to her with his good hand too.

“I, um, I don’t actually have a place to take it to,” she breathed.

His face screwed up.

“What the hell does that mean?”

She closed her eyes and sighed in defeat, her flat palms level with her shoulders as if to say, ‘you caught me’.

“I don’t have a home.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Levi’s arm fell to his side, and he scratched the back of his hand with his ring finger and pinky, his eyes looking at everything but Hanji.

“Uh, I have a spare bedroom,” he blurted out.

The gray of his eyes met the wide brown of hers, and his face turned hot.

“Fuck -- um, yeah -- I don’t mean it in, uh, any, um, particular way but it’s --”

He smacked his forehead, and his hand roughly pulled his red cheeks down as he began to scowl. Hanji watched him, a curious smile playing at the corners of her lips.

“ -- that’s very kind of you --”

“ -- it’s gotta be better than sleeping wherever the fuck you do now!”

She nodded, a slender finger rubbing the point of her chin as she mulled over his words. Then she looked at Levi with a wicked smile.

“Alright,” she said.

“Alright what?”

“I’m taking you up on your offer.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Her cheeks colored again.

“Unless you weren’t being serious --”

“Can it, woman. I was being serious!”  
He gulped.

“It’s the least I could do to repay you for what you did for me back in the day.”

“Oh,” she murmured.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

He cleared his throat.

“I actually just finished up my route, and, if you’ve finished the breakfast you shared with the raccoons --” She smacked his shoulder. “-- I can show you where I live.”

She nodded, clasping her hands behind her back again.

“You lead the way,” she smiled.

“Alright.”


	2. Spluttered Tea

_ The ringing had stopped, replaced by the rush of blood in his ears as his feet pounded through the snow. Even Levi was in awe of his own body; he had never had such an intense runner’s high as he had had over the past few hours. But he knew it was not his will alone that drove him forward despite his near-fatal injuries. It was not just the will to play cards again, not only the will to knock back drinks, simply just not the will alone to dip french fries in chocolate shakes at his favorite diner back home.  _

_ Home.  _

_ Truly, it was the drum beat of Farlan’s heart against Levi’s back that gave him the power he needed to put one numb foot in front of the other over and over again. _

_ Because he would not really be home without Farlan.  _

_ But it was already too late when he realized the snow sparkled with firelight.  _

_ “Кто ты, черт возьми,” a man shouted, cocking his gun.  _

_ ‘Who the fuck are you?’ _

_ Farlan’s head swung around.  _

_ “Levi,” he screamed.  _

_ In one motion, Levi threw Farlan off of his back and ran towards the bear of a man, weaving through the trees like a wraith. Levi’s speed caught the man off guard, and the burn of gunpowder fogged the night too late to save the Russian’s life. Levi grabbed the barrel of the rifle and held on tight, its hot metal singeing his palm as he pointed it away from his body. He kicked the man in the chest, sending him flailing into the muddy snow beneath him. Then Levi turned the man’s own gun on him, and it took not an ounce of strength for him to blow that fucker’s head off, a splatter of crimson warm against his frozen cheek.  _

_ Levi crouched over his kill, his hands steady as he searched the steaming corpse for more weapons. A few yards too close for comfort, more men shouted in a rough language he barely understood. He jammed a sheathed blade into his belt before keeping himself low to the ground, making his way back to Farlan.  _

_ “Capt -- Levi,” Farlan whispered, his face colorless in the shadow of the tree he had crawled up against. “I counted seven men at that camp, all armed. Y-you -- not even  _ you  _ can take on that many soldiers alone!”  _

_ “Fucking watch me,” Levi growled, his blazing eyes flickering to the three men who had left the warmth of their crackling fire.  _

_ He swung the gun’s leather strap over his shoulder and unsheathed the knife, crouching low as he moved from behind trees to stalk his prey. As the thinnest of the three men passed the trunk he hid behind, Levi silently brought himself up to his full height.Then he snatched a fistful of his thick hair, snapping his head back. Levi sliced the man’s neck ear-to-ear before his body could hit the ground, an unvoiced scream still at the back of his throat. _

_ Six dead men walking.  _

_ Levi darted out of the shadows, sprinting towards his next victim. Before the man could whip around, Levi was on his back, his legs wrapped around the man’s hips with his ankles crossed and the blade of his forearm digging into his Adam's apple. Grunting, Levi jerked himself backwards. When they hit the ground, he forced the man’s chin upwards and slit his throat, the splurts of sickening crimson staining Levi’s jacket sleeve black.  _

_ Five -- _

_ “В тени скрывается монстр!” _

_ \-- Fire flashed between the trees ahead of him, and the bang of a gunshot hit the snow a few inches from his head, kicking up a splatter of mud.  _

_ ‘There is a monster lurking in the shadows!’  _

_ Unhooking his legs from around the corpse’s waist, Levi propped the body up with one arm, tore the gun off of his aching shoulder, and fired at the shadow he could see in the blurry distance with one eye.  _

_ Dead weight crunched the snow.  _

_ Four dead men walking, and three bullets left.  _

_ Levi rushed into the campsite, holding a corpse out in front of himself to absorb the impending spray of bullets from the remaining enemy soldiers. As they jumped to their feet, he threw the corpse into the man closest to him. He shot him in the face, no hesitation. The slack-jawed man who stood beside the two corpses stared with wide eyes at the madness that was Levi, his jammed gun lowered as the wraith charged him.  _

_ “Да поможет нам Бог,” he whispered.  _

_ “God, help us.”  _

_ Levi jumped, and his outstretched arm caught the man’s neck, bringing him to the ground as his drawn blade slashed his throat. Levi pulled the body over his own before the other two men shot at him, and he poked the barrel of his gun through the corpse’s armpit. He pulled the trigger, and hit one man in the shoulder, flinging his screaming body backwards.  _

_ One dead man left walking.  _

_ He kicked the corpse off of his chest and rolled onto his feet, throwing his unloaded gun to the side. The man went to cock his rifle when Levi threw his knife. It struck true, plunging deep into his enemy’s eye.The man staggered, then collapsed into the mud.  _

_ Levi breathed.  _

_ Without a second look at the trail of corpses he turned his back on, Levi trudged through the snow to get Farlan.  _

_ “I can’t believe it,” Farlan mumbled in awe as Levi threw him onto his back and carried him into the campsite. _

_ He helped him get comfortable in front of the fire when Farlan raised his hand, motioning for Levi to freeze.  _

_ “Is that. . . a radio?” _

_ Farlan was right; he, too, could make out the quiet scratchings of radio static coming from the small tent at the light’s edge.  _

_ For Farlan’s sake alone, he found the will to put one numb foot in front of the other even though all he wanted to do was curl up in front of the fire. He lifted the oiled tent flap and poked his head in, his drawn knife clutched close to his chest with white knuckles.  _

_ “H. . lo . . . is someone. . .re --”  _

_ The radio bore the unmistakable silver and blue Wings of Freedom emblem of his Special Operations Squad. Gunther’s scratched initials caught the flicker of candlelight. He lunged for it.  _

_ With trembling hands, he held the headset to his stinging ear and spoke into the microphone.  _

_ “-- H-hello?”  _

_ Levi dared not to hope for the impossible to be possible.  _

“I never thought I’d see you again.” 

Hanji peered at him through her glasses, her lips kissed with a soft smile. 

If she hadn’t said that, then did that mean he did? 

His cheeks flushed, and he busied his calloused hands with chaining his cherry red bike to the chipping porch railing of his house, cursing himself for letting his undisciplined mind wander to things long dead in the ground. 

“So,” her voice trailed off as she tried to change the subject. 

“So,” he mumbled, brushing past her to unlock the front door.

He held it open for her, gesturing with his hand for her to come in. 

Her head swivelled around to take in the bare cream walls, the modest couch and coffee table, the drawn linen drapes -- 

“Take you damn shoes off,” he scolded her, crouching down to untie his own. 

He set them neatly by the door, and she followed suit. Then she folded her arms behind her back, watching him as he took the jar of milk out of his satchel and hung it up in the coat closet. He gruffly moved past her and headed into the kitchen to put the milk in the fridge. She followed him, her hungry eyes admiring the navel oranges on his clean counters. 

He stood up from the fridge and buried his hands in his pockets, taking in the sight of the scruffy woman in his kitchen. 

The scruffy woman who had saved his life, he corrected himself. 

“Let’s get some food in you.” 

She sniffled with a smile when he went to the counter, pulled a knife from a drawer, and sliced two oranges for them. 

“Hey, Levi,” she hesitated, but he continued to focus on the task before him. “Thank you.” 

He clicked his tongue. 

“Don’t get soft on me, Four Eyes,” he growled over his shoulder, cleaning off the knife and cutting board before rinsing his hands. 

He opened a cabinet, took out two plates, and placed the delicate slices on the porcelain. Then he turned around to face her, his back leaning against the counter with his palms cupping its edge. 

“What would you like to drink? I think the milk will taste better after it has had some time to chill.” 

Hanji nodded. She could see over the top of his head into the cabinet, and she had to suppress the onset of girlish giggles when she noticed that he had nothing above the second ledge. Probably because that was a bit out of reach for a man of his. . .  _ stature _ . 

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.” 

With narrowed eyes, he grunted and moved to another cabinet, retrieving a humble tea kettle and matching cups. After filling the kettle with water and setting it on the gas stove, he brought the plates to the table, setting one across from the other for her.

She grabbed the back of of her chair -- 

“Wait,” he shouted, a hand outstretched towards her. 

She jumped, and he grimaced, clicking his tongue. 

Levi rounded upon her, gently smacking her wrist from the chair. He gripped its pale wood sides and pulled it out for her before hurriedly shuffling back to his own seat. Even though he avoided her raised eyebrows, he couldn’t hide the splotches of nervous pinkness growing on his neck. 

She bit her cheek to keep from laughing out right. 

“What a gent,” she teased as they took their seats. 

He stuffed his face with an orange slice and hid his hands in his lap, his eyes looking at everything  _ but  _ her. 

‘What a damn fool I am,’ he silently reprimanded himself. 

Hanji’s cheeks already hurt from smiling so much, and she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that the hurt would only get worse. 

After stuffing her own face with a few orange slices, the unspoken words between them began to get under her skin. He looked at her. 

“What’s wrong,” he asked, setting down an eaten rind. 

She shrugged, sighing heavily as she stared at her plate. Then she dropped her clasped hands into her lap, worrying her cheek between her teeth. 

“I don’t know if I should say,” she coughed into the crook of her elbow.

His face screwed up. She couldn’t help the touch of fondness in her chest at the sight of that all-too-familiar crease between his eyebrows. 

The kettle screamed, and he stood up from his chair, moving it to a cold burner. From the cabinet he retrieved the kettle from, he brought out a worn wooden box. Hanji could smell the black tea in it as he poured the steaming water into the cups. He took out two paper packets, removed the tea bags, and plopped them into the cups. 

“Let’s drink this in the living room, and we can talk about whatever’s making you constipated in there.” 

Levi set the tea cup on the kitchen table in front of Hanji before striding off into the living room. 

Hanji stopped biting her cheek while her finger traced the tea cup lip, steam collecting on her fingertips. Then she picked up the cup and followed after Levi.

He sat at the far end of the powder blue couch and blew on his tea. She sat at the opposite end of the couch, crossing her ankles as she plucked at the wrinkles in her skirt. She scrunched her nose to keep from sniffling again. 

Levi sipped his tea. 

“What do you think you should not say,” he broke the silence first, his hands wrapped around the cup in his lap. 

She took a deep drag of her drink and flinched as it burned down her sore throat. 

Levi clicked his tongue. 

“Don’t splutter that all over my cushions! Don’t you know that tea  _ stains _ ?” 

She rolled her eyes, smacking her lips. 

“Well aren’t you the concerned housewife,” Hanji chuckled. 

“Oh yes, Hanji, keep trying to change the subject,” he growled. 

“I like how you didn’t even  _ try _ to deny it.” 

“Is it a  _ sin  _ nowadays to be concerned about cleanliness?” 

She couldn’t hold back the laughter. Or the butterflies who had made their home in her stomach. 

‘Those butterflies better start paying rent,’ she scolded herself.

The sun hadn’t even begun to set on her first day reconnecting with Levi, and yet all of the old feelings she had had for him threatened to choke her. How was she going to survive platonically living with him? 

The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched up in a smirk he tried to hide; he did not want to admit to himself that his chest swelled with pride knowing he had made her laugh. 

Oh God, what was he even doing? 

He cleared his throat, his half smile falling from his cheek. 

“Do I really have to ask you again?”

Hanji wiped at the corner of her eye and blew on her tea before taking a small sip of it. Then she set it on the coffee table. Turning to face Levi, she draped her arm over the back of the couch with a hand on her knee. She sheepishly smiled to herself, her eyes falling to her lap before meeting Levi’s. 

“Well,” she rolled her shoulders. “I couldn’t help but be reminded of the first time I heard your voice, and how I was shocked to hear it today; I really didn’t think I’d ever hear it again after I discharged you from my care.” 

Levi nodded, sipping his tea without a care about how it scorched the roof of his mouth. 

_ “H. . o who. . . is?”  _

_ Static blared into his ear as he fiddled with the knobs and tried again.  _

_ “Can you hear me?”  _

_ Static.  _

_ “Yes,” Commander Erwin Smith’s voice rang clear through the radio. “Can you hear us?” _

_ Levi yelled in triumph, a fist punching the air.  _

_ “Yes -- yes, I can hear you loud and clear, Commander.”  _

_ Levi could barely talk through how hard he was smiling with the uninjured side of his face, and his frozen cheek hurt with the feeling.  _

_ “Who am I speaking with?”  _

_ “Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, Captain of the Special Operations Squad.”  _

_ “What is the Squad’s code name?”  _

_ “The Wings of Freedom,” his teeth began to chatter.  _

_ “What is your code name?”  _

_ “The Raven.”  _

_ The fact that Levi did not call himself “The Hawk” was code enough for Erwin to know that he was not being forced to speak by enemies.  _

_ “Corporal, what happened?”  _

_ His Squad was scheduled to randevu hours ago.  _

_ “The target was eliminated, along with everyone of my Squad besides myself and Church.”  _

_ Levi swallowed as his whole body shook harder with each passing minute. He had to keep moving or he would go into shock.  _

_ “We desperately need a medic, both of us,” his voice quivered, “but I don’t know where we are.”  _

_ There was nothing but quiet radio static for a moment when Levi heard shouting in the distance again. He threw the radio onto his back, shoving his arms through its leather straps. He moved about the tent, and his heart leapt into his throat when he found what he sought for: a compass.  _

_ “The target’s location was due south of the drop off point. Church and I have headed north east from there.”  _

_ More silence.  _

_ “Church and I have to keep moving --” _

_ “-- Let me see this,” a woman’s voice sounded from the radio.  _

_ “Hey, Corporal, this is Doctor Hanji Zoe, emergency specialist medic. My crew and I think we know of a safe place where we can pick you up from if you’re around the area Erw--  _ the Commander  _ \-- and I speculate you may be.”  _

_ “Levi,” Farlan screamed.  _

_ “Where do I go,” Levi shouted as he darted out of the tent.  _

_ The sounds of rustling paper came through the radio when Levi laid eyes on a single Russian soldier on horseback at the edge of the campsite.  _

_ Their eyes met.  _

_ Levi lunged for the nearest cold corpse as the man cocked his gun and pointed it at Farlan’s head. Levi tore the rifle off of the body and cocked it when the man pulled his trigger.  _

_ “Head north,” Doctor Hanji ordered.  _

_ The man’s gun jammed, and Levi pulled his own trigger.  _

_ “I hear gunshots,” Doctor Hanji yelled.  _

_ The soldier fell from his horse, dead. Levi grunted as he ran to Farlan’s side.  _

_ “Corporal Levi,” Commander Erwin’s voice came from the radio.  _

_ Farlan beamed when he heard his Commander.  _

_ “You didn’t need to save me; I’ve already accepted that I’m a goner,” Farlan chuckled.  _

_ “Enemy spotted and eliminated, Commander,” Levi said, casting Farlan a nasty look.  _

_ Russian shouting echoed off of the trees from the direction Levi and Farlan had journeyed from.  _

_ “We need to get going,” Levi whispered, turning on his heel to look at the horse.  _

_ Farlan grunted.  _

_ “The eliminated enemy traveled by horseback, but the animal wasn’t skittish enough to bolt when I shot its rider,” he spoke into the microphone. _

_ Levi held out his hand to the horse, cautiously approaching it. Clouds fogged the air from its nose, and it took a tentative step towards him.  _

_ “Hey lovely,” Levi tried to coo in his sweetest voice.  _

_ Farlan mockingly gagged behind him, and Levi scowled.  _

_ “Someone behind me doesn’t understand how fucking important you are to our goddamn survival, lovely.”  _

_ Farlan snorted. The horse nuzzled Levi’s hand, and, with his back turned to his closest friend, he smiled freely. Levi rubbed the horse’s face tenderly as its lips nibbled on the tattered remains of his scorched uniform. Then he made his way to the horse’s side, examining the saddle. Two grown men could not share one saddle.  _

_ He cast a look at Farlan.  _

_ What skin was not burned off of his face was ashen, his eyes so close to being lifeless. Levi couldn’t bring himself to look at anything but his face.  _

_ ‘We are going  _ home. _ ’ _

_ “Farlan,” Levi unsheathed the knife he had tucked back into his belt. “How do you feel about riding bareback?” _

_ Levi slashed the side of the saddle and pushed it off of the horse before going round it to inspect its previous rider’s body.  _

_ “Reminds me of my younger days,” Farlan mumbled.  _

_ Levi threw the jammed rifle aside, and his eyes widened when he saw the sheathed saber at the corpse’s waist. Levi attached it to his own pants. But the crowning discovery was a canteen of water covered in frost. He paused, his aching head begging him to drink the whole damn thing.  _

_ “I found water,” he croaked.  _

_ Farlan was silent as Levi came to stand beside him. They looked at each other.  _

_ “Drink it,” Farlan ordered.  _

_ Levi’s face screwed up.  _

_ “Don’t be a fucking idiot. We’re going to share it while we ride.”  _

_ “You should leave me here,” strength returned to Farlan’s voice. “I’ll only slow you down.”  _

_ “Shut the fuck up,” Levi stretched forth his hand for his friend to take.  _

_ Farlan smacked it away.  _

_ “We both know I’m a dead man walking.”  _

_ Levi realized it was not strength but resolve to die alone in the cold snow that had risen inside of Farlan.  _

_ He grabbed Farlan’s bicep and yanked him up, his fuming face only an inch from Farlan’s.  _

_ “And what the fuck would I tell your little sister, Isabel?That I fucking left her brother to die?”  _

_ Farlan gulped, his hands clutching Levi’s shaking wrist.  _

_ “You’re going to get on that damn horse with me, you’re going to share some of that damn water with me, and you’re going to get the hell out of here with me. And that’s a fucking command.”  _

_ Farlan nodded slowly.  _

_ “Yes, Captain,” he said quietly.  _

_ Levi crouched down, throwing Farlan’s arm over his shoulders, and, carefully, he helped him up.  _

_ “Church and I are about to head due north on horseback,” he said into the radio as he helped Farlan steady himself by clutching onto the horse’s mane.  _

_ Levi lifted himself onto the horse, throwing his leg over its side with screaming muscles.  _

_ How long had it been since he had last slept?  _

_ The radio silence churned his stomach as he reached for Farlan.  _

_ “I’m going to hook my hands under your arms and lift you up to sit behind me.”  _

_ Farlan nodded, crying out in pain when his missing leg wriggled around helplessly while he situated himself on the horse’s back.  _

_ “There’s a path heading due north from this campsite,” Levi said into the microphone. “I’m going to follow it.”  _

_ Silence.  _

_ “We trust your judgement, Corporal. I will see you soon,” Doctor Hanji Zoe’s voice sounded from the radio.  _

The explosion that had torn Levi’s face apart had left behind deep purple scar tissue that ran from his hairline, across one eye, and touched one corner of his mouth. It stretched from the bridge of his nose, over the gentle rise and fall of his cheekbone, and stopped just at his temple. Hanji had had to take a skin graph from the outside of his thigh to patch up that much damage as best as she could, but even so, there was nothing she could do to fix the blindness in his now milky eye. 

Yet, despite what other people would deem hideous, she still found him to be quite handsome. She had once seen how his dark eye caught with passion. She had once heard his voice low with emotion. She had once felt his fingertips trace patterns on her tan skin by following her dappled freckles. Maybe the reason why she knew he was attractive was because she had once known a piece of who he had been. 

She very much wanted to get to know who he was now. 

His cheeks had paled a bit since they came into the living room, and his strong shoulders raised ever so slightly with a quiet sigh. 

“That day,” he cleared his throat. “still haunts me a bit, if I’m being completely honest.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

He sipped his tea.

“Not particularly.” 

Goosebumps licked up her skin, and she ran her hands up and down her arms, shivering. Levi looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re cold?” 

She nodded. 

“Just a little.” 

Levi set his tea cup on the coffee table and stood up, heading down the hallway that was connected to the living room. She heard a door open and close. A few moments later, he returned with a woven blanket. As he walked back to his seat on the couch, he chucked it at her. She caught it, but not before it smashed into her face. It smelled like clean cotton with a hint of his bitter aftershave. She smiled to herself because it reminded her of what it had been like to be held in his arms and smell that bitterness on his throat. 

Hanji wrapped the blanket around herself while Levi settled back in, his leg bouncing as he ran a hand through his hair. She noticed he kept it a bit longer than he had back during his time in the military. She had also noticed he was embarrassed of his hand. Did he intentionally cut his bangs longer than he had before in hopes of hiding his face? She desperately hoped not so. 

“Thanks.” 

“Yeah.” 

They were quiet for a while. Hanji finished her tea. 

“I miss Farlan,” Levi blurted out. 

She turned to face him again and brought her legs up to her chest, wrapping the blanket around her shins before resting her chin on her knees. 

“I never got to meet him.” She paused. “What was he like?” 

Levi did not grin, but his face lit up. 

“We were really close friends when we were younger. Grew up in the same town.” 

He scratched behind his ear.

“When I lost my mother to consumption, his family took me in. His little sister, Isabel, even got to calling me her brother.” 

The corner of his mouth twitched, and he found himself talking more than he usually did. He always found himself talking more than he usually did when he was around Hanji. 

“It was because of him that I joined the military and really got straightened out. All of my success” his voice hitched, “is because of what he did for me when we were nothing but kids.” 

Hanji took his hand from his lap and rubbed her thumb over his scarred knuckles. His eyes flickered down to their hands, and he tried to stop the churning in his stomach at the sight of which hand she touched. If she wasn’t going to recoil at the sickly sight of his missing fingers, then he wasn’t going to jerk his hand away. 

After all, it was because of her that he had survived. 

He rested his good hand over hers, enjoying how warm she was to the touch. It was like summer was the blood in her veins. He pursed his lips to try to keep the one corner of his mouth from raising. Their eyes met. She did not try to keep herself from smiling. 

“It’s so good to see you again, Levi.” 

His chest rose as he cast his eyes low again, the little buttons of his pressed shirt catching the afternoon light that filtered through the crack between the white drapes behind the couch. Then he lifted her hand a bit. She lightly squeezed his hand, feeling the pulse between his thumb and index finger quicken when she noticed he was biting his bottom lip. 

He swallowed. 

“Hanji,” he put her hand back on top of the one that was missing a few fingers. 

Levi did not let go of Hanji’s hand. 

“I have to be honest with you.” 

Her heart fluttered in her chest. 

“Yes,” she breathed. 

His face screwed up. 

“You need a goddamn shower.” 


	3. Stay With Me

“Levi,” Jerry heaved, his weathered hand scratching at the creases in his forehead. “I hate to say this, but I’ve gotta let you go.” 

Levi stared at him, expressionless. 

“It’s not that you’re a bad worker, but shit’s starting to hit the fan with this whole pandemic thing going on,” he clapped a meaty hand onto the younger man’s shoulder. 

Levi nodded, scratching the back of his undercut. 

“Alright.” 

“I’m real sorry about all this.” 

“Yeah,” Levi sighed. “Me too.” 

He turned his back on Jerry, swung his leg over his bike seat, and pedalled off. As he wove through the streets of downtown San Francisco, he could almost make out the dry coughs of the sick and the quiet weeping of the living through the sun-bleached brick buildings. It felt as if Death himself had made quite a comfortable home in these crowded streets. 

Was He here to cash Levi’s rain check too? 

He pedalled faster, shaking his head of such nonsense. Instead, he let his mind wander to the delicate smell of his soap on Hanji’s warm skin and in her soft hair from her afternoon shower yesterday. His stomach was in knots over the thought of getting to spend another day with her. Pink splotches kissed up his neck and cheeks. He scowled to himself; he knew he was not the type of man any woman would actually want. 

He sighed. 

When he reached home, he chained up his bike and went back into the grassy yard to pick up the daily paper. To be honest, he was a bit surprised to see it was still being passed out, what with the quarantine and all.

He quietly unlocked the door and slipped his shoes off, tucking them away neatly in the corner. Even though he would not be using it again, he hung up the milk satchel in the coat closet without a second glance. Then he sat on the couch, kicked up his socks on the coffee table, and flipped open the paper. 

Every article he could find was about the sick, dying, or dead, with terrible photographs of bodies piling up in hospital morgues and on the streets of Californian slums. Every page he flipped through brought him back to the bite of rotting corpses that had paved his way back home. 

Levi set the newspaper on the coffee table by his feet and leaned his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes for just a moment. 

_“If you keep heading north, the forest will fade into a clearing at the edge of a cliff that overlooks the sea,” Doctor Hanji’s voice sounded through the radio static._

_“Roger,” Levi grunted, running the horse into the ground._

_Farlan had been quiet for a long time, his arms heavy against Levi’s bruised collar bones. What was left of his scorched gold hair felt cold against Levi’s frozen cheek, his friend’s mutilated face tucked into the crook of his warm neck._

_How much longer could Farlan survive a blown off leg without medical attention?_

_Levi jammed his heels into the horse’s side._

_“C’mon, lovely,” he pleaded, knowing full well he was trading its’ life for theirs._

Hanji coughed from down the hallway, and Levi twitched in his sleep, rolling his head to his other shoulder. 

_His shaking hands held onto the fine leather reins with purple knuckles. Each jostling horse step made his ribs catch fire.The tatters of his blood-soaked uniform had become frost against his skin._

_How much longer could he keep playing this fucked up game of survival?_

_Then he saw it. Streams of white sunlight flittered past the dragon scale tree bark of sparse trees just up ahead of them._

_“Corporal, my crew and I are less than ten minutes out from the cliffs. Are you out of the woods yet?”_

_He lowered himself, willing the horse to fly past those last few trees and into freedom’s embrace._

_“Yes,” Levi gasped. “We’re here!”_

_The horse galloped into the open, his eyes pricked by stinging tears at the sight of coastal cliffs just barely out of reach._

_But the impossible hope had blinded him to the encampment of Russians who had laid in wait for them._

_“Эти люди выжили после взрыва!”_

_“Those men are the survivors of the explosion,” a soldier spat._

_There was a cacophony of cocking rifles._

_“Убей их.”_

_A gun fired, and Farlan’s chest slammed against Levi’s back._

_“Kill them.”_

_Farlan’s arms slipped from round Levi’s neck, and he fell._

_“Farlan, no,” Levi shrieked._

_He jerked the horse’s reins, forcing it to turn back too fast. The animal screamed as its ankle snapped in the mud, and Levi heard the whiz of a bullet fly past his frost-bitten ear. The horse slammed into the ground, and, just as he was thrown a few feet away from its wriggling body, he helplessly watched a soldier stand over Farlan with the barrel of his gun pressing into his forehead._

_As Levi laid on his back against the unforgiving earth, he watched pale sunlight shine through patches of clouds that cried with gentle flakes of fresh snow._

_He heard the crack of the shot over the crash of gray ocean waves and the roar of airplane engines._

Levi’s eyes shot open, and he clutched his chest. His breathing was fast and shallow. 

“I’m _home_ ,” he whispered to the loneliness of his cozy living room as he sat up. He rested his forehead in his hands, rubbing his eye with the ball of his palm. Then he checked his wrist watch, clicking his tongue when its ticking hands read 10:17 AM.

Where the fuck was Hanji? 

He pushed his fists into the couch to help himself up. After running a trembling hand through his hair and straightening his gray shirt collar, he headed down the hallway for the guest bedroom. 

His knuckles quietly rapped on the closed white door. 

“Four Eyes, do you have any idea what the goddamn time is?” 

Silence. 

He rolled his eyes and opened the door. 

The drawn curtains gently moved about as the hot autumn breeze rolled through the open windows. Levi pulled at his collar with a finger, light beads of sweat already budding on his nape. The thick bed comforter was tightly balled up around Hanji, and tufts of her brown hair stuck out at odd ends beneath the sheets she had pulled over her head like some sort of cotton hood. Levi noticed a few little toes poking out from beneath the mountain of covers. 

“Hanji,” Levi called from the bedroom doorway, nervous to actually rip the blankets off of her like he wanted to in case she was indecent. 

She stirred a bit, rolling her shoulders with a sniffle. Then a dry cough rasped from her chest. Levi’s stomach knotted again, this morning’s giddiness straight down the shitter. He strode into the room and laid his hand on her shoulder. She was shivering. 

“Hey, Hanji,” he said, clearing his throat. 

He couldn’t see her face, but she started to murmur from under all of her damn covers. 

“Can you hear me?” 

She moaned, and Levi jumped as she rolled onto her back. She wriggled her arm out and pushed the sheets away from her sweaty face, slapping her hand onto her sweaty forehead. His heart raced as she dropped her arm to her side, her golden lids fluttering open.

“Levi,” she croaked.

Her hazy brown eyes were bloodshot, but when she saw him, she smiled weakly. Levi’s mouth dried as he went to touch her forehead. She closed her eyes. 

Yesterday, he was wrong to have thought summer was in her veins; touching her skin was like touching the sun. 

“Fuck,” he breathed. “This isn’t good.” 

Her face screwed up, and she threw her arm over her mouth just in time to cover a full blown coughing fit. Levi shook his head, his bangs brushing his cheeks. 

“I think you have a fever.” 

She chuckled.

“You think?” 

He scowled. 

“Did you feel sick yesterday?” 

Her brows furrowed thoughtfully. 

“My nose felt a bit stuffy then, but I thought it was from my usual fall allergies.” 

“Dammit,” he hissed, turning his back to her. “I’m going to send for a doctor.” 

He went to leave the room, but she grabbed his shirt sleeve as fast as lightning. He whipped around. 

“I _am_ a doctor.” 

At the sight of her bare shoulders and hair haloed around her gentle face, all he could think about was how he wanted to count the freckles on her flushed cheeks and trace them over the rise and fall of the beating pulse down her slender neck. 

His cheeks colored, and he looked away as she propped herself up on one elbow, clutching a bundle of blankets against her bare chest. Levi came to stand beside her again with his hands at his sides and his gray eyes cast low. She threw her legs over the side of the bed, careful to keep her nakedness covered. Then she took his hand into hers. She was on fire. 

Their eyes met. 

“Hanji,” he whispered. 

“Levi,” she worried her sweet lip. 

“How do I save you?” 

_It was game over._

_“Corporal Levi, we have sight of your location. Are you alive,” Doctor Hanji shrieked through the radio._

_“Farlan’s dead,” he breathed._

_The radio went silent, and he swallowed._

_“This is the end of the line for me.”_

_The winter’s sunshine was warm on his face_

_“So you’re just going to give up because you lost the battle for Church’s life?”_

_Footsteps crunched the snow close to him._

_“Roger that.”_

_He closed his eyes._

_“You idiot,” Doctor Hanji screeched. “If you lay down and die like a dog, then his memories die with you. You may have lost one battle, but what lies before you now is the war -- the war for whether or not Church will continue to live through you.”_

_A shadow stood above him, cocking a gun._

_The radio crackled with Doctor Hanji’s screams, “You can’t win if you don’t fight!”_

_Levi’s eyes shot open, and he rolled onto his shoulder as the soldier pulled the trigger. Gunpowder burned his flared nostrils as he grabbed the hot rifle barrel and leapt to his feet, twisting his body while he held onto the gun. The man lost his grip as the gun flew to the side of them. The soldier wound his fist back to punch Levi, but he moved towards the man’s chest. Then he snatched a fistfull of the Russian’s hair, cupped his chin, and snapped his neck._

_“Doctor Hanji, I’ll secure the area.”_

_Levi somersaulted to the gun, and then lunged behind the wriggling horse. Hot blood splattered his face as the soldiers shot the howling beast. He counted nine enemies charging at him before the mare was silenced. Then he unloaded the rifle._

_The booms of the shooting guns were drowned out by the airplane engines roaring directly overhead, but he didn’t have the time to look at the sky._

_He took out three men when the gun jammed. Two soldiers rushed at him, and Levi leapt out from his cover, smashing the rifle’s barrel into one man’s jaw. The man spat out teeth when he hit the ground. Levi’s saber rang as he drew it and pierced the other soldier’s chest. He ran the blade through to the hilt and then ripped the gun from his dead hands. He shot the man at his feet dead._

_Levi would cut these men down just as he had the men at the campsite._

_For Farlan._

_He raced forward with the corpse as a shield, his gun’s barrel poking through its armpit, and he shot one man in the knee before it jammed._

_“Fucking Russian guns,” he hissed, throwing it into the bloodied snow._

_He spun fast, flinging the dead body into one soldier as another sliced at him with a saber. Levi dodged the blow and clashed blades with him as the third Russian aimed his gun at his head. Levi kicked his attacker in the stomach, thrusting him into the third soldier. But before Levi’s attacker could smash into him, there was a deafening shot, and the third man’s head exploded._

_Levi’s eye shot up to the airplane. A woman in white with a red cross painted on her chest stood in the haze of silver gunsmoke, her tied up chestnut hair wild in the whipping wind, but the gun in her hands stayed steady. Before his attacker could stagger back up onto his boots, Levi whipped about, slashing his throat._

_“Corporal, retreat,” Doctor Hanji’s voice commanded through the radio static._

_He looked back at the plane just in time to watch the doctor throw a rope ladder down to him, and he sprinted for it. His muscles burned as he forced one numb hand above the other._

_Corporal Levi’s and Doctor Hanji’s eyes met as he climbed up to her._

_Then the ladder began to shake beneath him, and the doctor fired her gun. Levi looked down and saw the man he had thrown the corpse at racing up to him, hungry for vengeance. He cursed himself for forgetting to kill him too. Levi tried to move faster, but the soldier grabbed his ankle, yanking him down. His grip fumbled, and he smashed his chin on a step before grabbing the rope. He could feel his icy fingers slipping when he heard the man unsheath a knife. The soldier stabbed it deep into his calf._

_Levi screamed, desperately trying to kick the soldier off of him, but his blade began to slice through his leg closer and closer to his ankle with every motion._

_“Don’t move,” Doctor Hanji commanded._

_He listened, hugging the rope to his frantically beating chest. He looked at the Russian and saw the raw hatred boiling inside of him, but the doctor’s shot did not miss her target this time. The bullet caught him in the trachea, and he fell, leaving the knife in Levi’s calf._

_Levi looked back up at the doctor, but the world around him was twirling._

_“For Farlan,” he whispered to himself, putting one hand in front of the other._

_At the top, Doctor Hanji offered him her hand, and he weakly grabbed it. With surprising strength, she pulled him into her arms. They collapsed in the cockpit, holding each other._

_And they just breathed._

_She moved from beside him, sitting on her knees. She laid one hand on his chest to keep him down as she pulled the knife from his calf, casting it to the side with a clatter. Then her nimble fingers traced over his mutilated face, the nubs where he used to have fingers, the splotches of purple bruises and charred burns all over his body. His lavender lids began to flutter open and closed._

_“Hey,” she yelled above him, but he could not hear her over the nothingness that had begun to consume him._

_“Stay with us,” her lips mouthed._

“Hanji,” Levi’s voice caught, “how do I save you?” 

His thumb traced circles over the delicate bones in her hand. 

“Stay with me,” she breathed. 

His hand slid from hers and cupped her cheek. 

  
  



	4. Pinky Promises

Dawn light crept into the little guest bedroom through the white curtains. They swayed gently as hot breezes lazed through the open windows, promising a bitter winter kissed by pink jasmine.

Hanji hacked coughs into the down of her pillow, and she shouldered the comforter over her ear, her eyes fluttering with dreams behind closed golden lids. The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched while he watched her sleep beside him. His hand rested so near to hers on the soft sheets, and he couldn’t stop himself from lacing his fingers with the fire of hers. She sighed and nuzzled her nose deeper into the covers. 

It had been a few days since Hanji had asked Levi to stay by her side, and he hadn’t ever left her, not really. But she hadn’t gotten any better. Her warm cheeks were still rosey, which she had reassured him was a good sign. She had explained that the Spanish Flu killed people when their lungs would fill with excess liquid in the fibers of the organs’ tissues, effectively drowning them. However, it was a slow process, and, as the flu began to suffocate them, their features would darken into hues of blue. Once the skin turned purple, that person had anywhere from a few hours to maybe a day before the light of their life was snuffed out. 

Levi swallowed. He would not allow that to happen. 

Hanji giggled whenever he fussed over her, her laughter as light as bells to hide the knots of fear that had tied down the butterflies in her stomach. At least, that is what she tried to do when she was not drowning in the murkiness of her own fever dreams. When her screams became nothing more than hoarse coughing from the rawness of her throat, Levi would lay with her, holding her shivering body in the strength of his arms late into the autumn nights. He would pet her chestnut hair, resting his scarred cheek on the top of her head, and blink away the salt of burning tears for the woman against his chest. 

He would always be her rock, just as she had been for him when they were once nothing more than strangers in the snowy French nights. 

_ He was safe, and her hands would heal him, she promised herself. She would not let her hands be stained with his blood too.  _

_ Her stomach lurched at the memory of taking those men’s lives to save the Corporal. She had looked into the eyes of the man who had plunged his knife into Levi’s calf, saw the shock dilate his pupils as her bullet took his life. His eyes were brown, just like hers, and she couldn’t help but see herself reflected back up through those bloodshot whites, a smoking gun in her steady hands.  _

_ Such steady hands, the nurses had praised her as she rose through their ranks.  _

_ Steady hands saved lives, not took them.  _

_ As she rushed Levi into the Nurses’ Tent, her fingertips brushed fresh snowflakes from his black lashes. They melted at her warm touch. When she looked at his mutilated face, she felt sick from the swelling guilt in her chest, because she knew she would bloody her hands for this man again and again if it meant she could be at his side.  _

_ He was nothing more than a stranger, but, when she had held him, dying in her arms, the feeling of his scorched skin against her own, awoke something deep within the marrow of her bones. She didn’t know what it was, nor could she shake the feeling, like a word she racked her brain for only to just barely taste it on the tip of her twisted tongue.  _

_ The nurses laid Levi in a clean cot before her, his lifeless body limp in the cold sheets. _

_ “Doctor Hanji,” Head Nurse Petra came to her side, touching her wrist. “Your orders?”  _

_ Hanji swallowed.  _

_ “Remove the remnants of his uniform. Be careful to not pull burned flesh off with the clothes.”  _

_ Petra nodded, her amber eyes troubled. _

  
  


_ It took 26 hours to save Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman’s life, but Doctor Hanji Zoe’s hands stayed steady. She was always steady, the other nurses had praised her on the evening she had received her doctorate.  _

_ But would the red strings of her connection to this man be her undoing?  _

_Hanji slumped into a splintering chair at Levi’s bedside, her strong arms weak with exhaustion. She relaxed her neck_ ** _,_** _spilling unruly tendrils of her greasy hair onto her_ _back. She breathed._

_ For once in her life, she felt alive simply because the heart of the man in her Tent’s cot beat steadily. As steady as her hands, she would tell him.  _

  
  
  


_ The Corporal laid unconscious for 17 days, but the number 17 meant the world to her. She was 17 when her parents had died of consumption within weeks of each other, and she was 17 when she decided she would become a doctor.  _

_ ‘Yes, a doctor,’ she screamed at her drunk aunt. _

_ The fat woman’s hand stung her cheek, and the dining room, freshly set with the evening meal, shook when Hanji’s slender body slammed into the hardwood floor. She laid there for a moment and tasted blood on her chapped lips, spilled from her broken nose. She sucked in a shaky breath as she brought herself back up to her delicate feet.  _

_ Hanji wiped the blade of her forearm across her face, smearing crimson athwart her rudied cheek.  _

_ “No woman can take the place of a man,” her aunt growled.  _

_ “Fucking watch me,” she spat, her fists steady at her sides.  _

  
  
  


_ Doctor Hanji Zoe stood at Levi’s side now, two fingers pressed into the pulse in his wrist when his lavender lids fluttered open. The gray of his eyes danced about the makeshift room, lights of consciousness sparking within their depths before locking on her angular face.  _

_ Freckles.  _

_ He hadn’t expected constellations of freckles to grace her cheeks. Nor did he expect his heart to skip a beat when she smiled such a smile at him. No,  _ for  _ him.  _

_ He gulped, and his throat stung.  _

_ “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she chuckled, her hand tracing over the pulse in his bruised neck.  _

_ Levi winced, his face screwing up.  _

_ “Doctor Zoe,” he rasped. “Where are we?”  _

_ She pulled up the chair she had slept in every night for the past 17 nights and plopped down like it was an old friend. He tried to prop himself up on an elbow, but her hand shot up to his bare chest, gently pressing him back into the cot. She shook her head, her smile becoming apologetic.  _

_ “Please don’t move about too much yet.” She brought her hand back into her lap. “We’re safely tucked away in my Nurses’ Tent on the outskirts of a quiet little French town.”  _

_ His eyes closed, and he ran a bandaged hand through his burnt hair.  _

_ “France?”  _

_ “Yeah,” she nodded.  _

_ His hand dropped to his side. Then his mission in Russia really must have been a nightmare brought to a hellish reality.  _

_ “What the fuck,” he groaned, salt blinding his good eye.  _

_ “What’s wrong,” Hanji leaned in closer to him.  _

_ A sob choked his voice, and she worried her lip.  _

_ “Why did you save me,” he whispered, covering his face with his arm as a tear slid down his cold cheek.  _

_ Her face screwed up.  _

_ “Did you want me to let you die?”  _

_ “Yes,” he bellowed.  _

_ Hanji did not flinch. She just sighed.  _

_ “There’s so many things I could say,” she looked down into the traces of lines on her open palms.  _

_ “The shell shock will take some time to fully bloom, and you’ll have to learn to roll with its punches. _

_ “It’s okay to feel broken though.”  _

_ He listened to her husky voice.  _

_ “But,” she hissed. “I didn’t kill two men -- two  _ people  _ \-- for you to be so fucking ungrateful. I didn’t slave over your dying body night and day for over  _ two weeks  _ for you to be such a shithead about the fact that your lungs are still sucking in air and your heart is beating as steady as my goddamn hands!”  _

_ She stood from her chair, her balled up fists pressing half moons into her skin.  _

_ “Did you forget that if you die, then Farlan Church’s memories -- his knowledge, his character, his stories -- die with you?”  _

_ She turned her back to him. His hand shot up to the hem of her clean sleeve before she could walk away.  _

_ “I’m sorry.”  _

_ She reached for his hand and held it in her own, her fingers rubbing small circles into his bones.  _

_ “May I call you ‘Levi’,” Hanji asked, taking a step to face him again.  _

_ His bandages were stained with salt. He nodded. _

_ “Promise me something, Levi.”  _

_ Her other hand brushed his black bangs from his pale forehead.  _

_ “Promise me you will survive this.” _

_ His brows furrowed, and she held up her fist between them, pinky out. _

_ “Pinky promise me,” she pleaded.  _

_ Levi raised his hand up to meet hers, the muscles in his hand screaming as he wrapped his pinky around hers.  _

_ “I pinky promise you, Doctor Zoe.”  _

_ She smiled that smile, the one he already knew was just for him.  _

_ “It’s just Hanji,” the Doctor said as she leaned in to kiss her soft knuckles.  _

_ Levi pulled his fist to his own face, bringing her down so near to him. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. Their eyes met, and they saw each other as they were. He pressed his knuckles to the bandages over his lips.  _

_ “I promise you, Hanji.”  _

_ And then, when she heard his lips taste her name, she knew what had awoken inside of her when she had held him in her arms, the roar of the airplane engines drowning out everything but  _ that. 

_ It felt like she had known him in another life.  _

Before leaving his little house, he scribbled a note for Hanji and left it on the kitchen table, letting her know he had gone to Jerry’s to pick up a few groceries. He smirked as his feet pedalled him down the winding sidewalk that was parallel to the sea. It wasn’t raging, like the butterflies inside of his stomach were when he stopped in front of not Jerry’s shop, throwing his bike onto the ground of its front alcove without even a care to chain it up. He knew he would only need a moment in there, because his mind was made up. 

His resolve did not falter as he pushed the fine glass door open, its entrance bell tinkling just over his head. But, as he left Anthony’s Precious Jewelry, carefully setting his package in his satchel, his blood boiled instantly. 

“You have got to be fucking shitting me right now,” he groaned, smacking his forehead and pulling his cheeks down hard. 

Levi’s bike had been stolen. 

  
  
  


Hanji’s hand reached across her pillow, searching for Levi, but the sheets had long grown cold without him beside her. She sighed and threw the covers off of herself, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Her arms rose above her head in a stretch before she got up to look for him. 

When she stood, black stars twinkled around her eyes, and she tried to blink them away before her shoulder slammed into the cream wall. Wheezing, she slid down to the floor, barely able to catch her breath. 

“Levi,” she rasped into the lonely afternoon light. 

Violent dry coughs racked her frame as she dragged herself back onto her aching feet. She leaned against the walls to keep herself upright, going down the hallway and into the empty living room.

When she saw the scrap paper on the kitchen table, her heart leapt into her throat. It took everything inside of her chest to bring herself to that tableside and hold the note in her steady hand.

‘Going to Jerry’s for groceries, be back soon’

She tried to breathe steadily again. 

_ There was frost on the note; that’s how long it had sat on the sheetless cot mattress. The emptiness of her Nurses’ Tent made her aching empty arms scream.  _

_ ‘Hanji,’ Levi’s careful cursive flowed.  _

_ ‘You make me feel things I don’t want to feel, and I dare not ever tell you what those feelings are. You deserve more than a broken man like me can ever give you. _

_ ‘I need to leave. Don’t look for me.’  _

_ Commander Erwin had already sent him home that morning, honorably discharged from the Marines. _

_ The gray clouds above cried fresh snow for her, the note slipping from her fingers.  _

And yet,  _ he  _ had found  _ her _ almost two years later by accident. 

She knew the fate of another life had followed them, red strings intertwining their lives throughout the unparalleled ages of time. No matter where their lives took them, they would always find each other; their arms had been made to hold each other since the universe had first conceived their very concept. 

Her fingertips traced over the bleeding ink, and she held it delicately as she trudged back to her bed, as if it were one of her butterflies made manifest. She laid in bed again, pulling the blankets over her head, and bubbled over with hoarse laughter while she held Levi’s paper scrap over her heart. 

  
  


“Fucking  _ dammit _ ,” Levi growled when he finally set foot on his front porch, wiping forehead sweat onto his sleeve. 

Even though the sun had already set, it was still fucking hot. His clothes were ruined, and he desperately needed a shower to freshen up. But he didn’t want to wait any longer. 

He opened the front door, swallowing as he hurriedly tucked away his shoes in their usual corner and hung his satchel up in the coat closet. He held his little package in his fist before slipping it into his pocket. Nervously, he straightened his damp shirt collar and jogged to Hanji’s room. 

She coughed when he gently rapped his knuckles against the door, but he didn’t wait for her to tell him to come in. He flung the door open, his heart pounding in his chest as she rolled over in bed to look at him. 

The room was almost black. He pushed his bifocals up his nose and cleared his throat, coming to the edge of her bed as his eye adjusted. She smiled that smile, the one he had known was just for him since her fingers had first brushed his bangs from his face all of those years ago.

“I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” his eyes looked at everything but her. 

She shook her head. 

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” she chuckled.

Levi felt faint. His shoulders rose and fell as his hand cupped her burning cheek. She moved into his touch, sighing with closed eyes. 

“Hanji,” he cleared his throat, and her face screwed up. 

“Are you about to give a speech?”

He took his shaky hand from her face and ran it through his hair. 

“Um, something like that.” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“Come lay with me while we talk.” 

Pink splotches kissed up his neck when she scooted over to make room for him. He sat on the edge of the bed, turning his body to face her. 

“Do you remember that note I left for you?” 

Hanji knew he was not talking about the scrap of paper that was under the sheets with her. She nodded, her stomach knotting up. 

“I don’t remember exactly what I wrote anymore, but, I do remember how much it fucking  _ hurt _ . And I don’t ever want to do that again.” 

“Do what again,” she whispered. 

“I never want to leave your side again.”

Their eyes met in the evening darkness, his hand buried in his pocket.

“So promise me something, Hanji.” 

“Promise what?” 

He held out his hand before her, pinky out. 

“Pinky promise me that you’ll survive this.” 

She grinned, wrapping her pinky around his. 

His trembling fingers swept a tendril of fallen hair out of her face, his thumb stroking her jawline. Levi leaned in, so near to pressing his lips against his knuckles. He couldn’t hear himself over the rush of blood in his ears, couldn’t feel himself speak.

“And that you’ll be my wife,” he breathed.

So close to her, he could see light in those brown eyes.

“I pinky promise you, Levi.” 

She leaned in too, a hand wrapping around the nape of his neck to pull him to her. He went to close the gap between them, having eyes only for her trembling blue lips. 

Blue lips. 

Levi jerked back in shock, whipping around to the nightstand beside him. He flicked on the lamp and cupped Hanji’s pale face with both hands, bringing her into the yellow light. 

Her cheeks and lips were as blue as the night sky. 


	5. LH 1918

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next few months, expect a sequel!

“This can’t be happening,” Levi whispered, his lips barely moving as his heart pounded its way through his ribs. 

Hanji’s eyes fluttered closed, a delicate smile rising to her periwinkle cheeks when she felt the warmth of his breath brush her lashes. 

“I know,” she breathed, her lungs rattling. “It’s even sweeter that you want to kiss me with the lights on.” 

No color threatened to blossom up his neck. His blood was ice as his thumbs traced over the gentle rise and fall of her face.

“Hanji, I need to call a doctor,” he worried his lip. 

Her face screwed up. 

“How many times do I need to remind you that  _ I am _ a doctor,” she hissed through gritted teeth. 

Her hands covered his, and she pulled her face free, casting her eyes to the wrinkled sheets.

“You don’t understand --” 

“-- What could I possibly  _ not  _ understand --” 

“Your skin is fucking  _ blue _ , Hanji.” 

Her brows shot up, her hands clasping her cheeks. 

“But --” 

She jolted out of the bed, ripping the sheets from her body before her unsteady legs buckled beneath her. 

“Hanji,” Levi yelped, toppling his chair over as he went to kneel beside her shaking body. 

He tenderly placed his calloused hands on her shoulders to steady her, but she gruffly smacked his wrists away. She shook her head to free her splotchy vision from popping stars of blackness, tendrils of chestnut hair spilling down her collar bones. Wheezing, she flung herself out of the room. Her hands clawed up the bare walls, and her shoulder slammed into their cream as she stumbled through the bathroom doorway. 

Levi breathed to steady himself as he came up to his feet, running a hand through his hair. Then he whipped around to follow her, always ready to follow her. 

Her steady hand flicked the bathroom light on, and she gripped the porcelain sink basin for balance. She looked into the clean mirror, her brown eyes searching the dark hue of her reflection for any sign of hope as she leaned in closer. With the tip of her hooked nose brushing against it, her breath fogged the cold glass. 

Levi leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest. 

Hanji straightened herself, her knees so weak beneath her. Then she turned to face him. 

Her face was pale, her trembling lip blue. Her lavender lids blinked away the burn of salt that kissed her soft lashes. He went to her, his hands outstretched to take her into the strength of his arms. Her head shook again, popping stars of black nothingness threatening to take the consciousness from her. She took a step back from him, her arm raised out to keep him away from her as her heel hit the tub. 

“Don’t come any closer!”. 

The edges of her vision began to blur. 

Grabbing her forearm, he closed the gap between them, their chests touching.

“I will  _ never  _ leave your side again; I promise you that,” he whispered. 

“Levi,” she rasped. 

He let go of her arm, and it fell to touch his waist, her finger twisting around his belt loop. 

“I’m scared.”

The tip of his nose followed up the muscles in her neck, tracing over the length of her jaw. Her eyes fluttered closed. 

The rattle of her lungs echoed off of the walls, and she fell. 

“Hanji,” he shouted, his arms holding her limp body against his. 

Her head rolled about her shoulders as he bent to hook an arm beneath her knees. With a grunt, he scooped her up and ran back to the bedroom. 

As careful as he could, he laid her on the mattress and tucked the covers under her chin. His hand brushed tufts of her hair from her face, his tangled fingers lingering in its warmth for a moment. Then he sprinted into the kitchen, flicking on lights as he went. 

He picked up the phone and dialed Jerry’s number. 

The phone rang a few times before the old man answered. 

“Yellow,” his groggy voice called through the static. 

“Jerry, it’s Levi.” 

“Oh, hello!” 

Jerry paused. 

“Is everything alright?” 

“Um, well, I, uh, d-do you know a good doctor I could, uh, get a hold of?” 

Jerry cleared his throat.

“Yeah, as a matter o’ fact, I know a great doctor I could get you into touch with. His name is Grisha Yeager” 

Levi pushed himself against the wall, careful to not sink to the ground. 

“Oh, thank God.” 

Rustling papers sounded through the static. 

“I’ve got the number right here. Lemme know when you’re ready for it!”

Levi jammed his hand into his pocket, digging beneath the package for a pen. He held the phone between his ear and shoulder, stretching out his hand as he clicked the pen ready. 

“Okay, go.” 

Jerry prattled off the number, and Levi read back the bleeding ink scratched on his palm.. 

“Yes, that’s right!” 

“Thank you, my friend.” 

Jerry coughed.

“Hey, Levi?” 

“Yeah?” 

“God be with you.” 

Levi’s breath hitched in his throat, and he nodded as he clicked the button to end the call. His fingers moved quickly, dialing the doctor’s number. 

The call rang and rang, but no one answered. 

Levi growled and dialed the number again. 

“Doctor Yeager speaking,” a grizzly voice answered. 

Levi noticed the man had a soft German accent lipping at his words. He bit his lip, not knowing what to say. 

“Uh, yeah, I, um, have a sick friend -- I mean fiancee. Yeah, uh --”

“-- Does your sick whoever have the Spanish flu?”

“Yes, my  _ fiancee _ has it. Can you help?” 

Doctor Yeager sighed. 

“I can come in the morning --” 

“No, it’s an emergency!” 

“We’re living through a pandemic; everyone’s got an emergency.” 

Levi gripped the phone with white knuckles, his fist balling up at his side. 

“Listen here, fuckhead. Her skin is blue, and she just passed out. She needs fucking help, and if you have a stick shoved so far up your high ass that you won’t help, then, God so fucking help me, I will find someone else to pay my damn fortune to.” 

He gulped, and the line went quiet. 

“Give me your address,  _ sir _ , and I’ll be over as soon as I can.” 

Levi rubbed his forehead as he gave Doctor Yeager his address. The doctor ended the call before he could confirm it.

With raised brows, he hung the phone up and slid down to the cold tiles, pressing both hands into his eyes until he saw stars. His shoulders rose and fell with slow breaths. Throwing his hands onto the floor, he pushed himself back up onto his feet and made his way down the hallway for Hanji. 

The glowing lamplight cast evening shadows about the toppled chair and the drawn drapes. Levi stepped into the room, righting the chair he had knocked over in his panic. Quietly, he sat down and rested his forearms on the tops of his bouncing knees, wringing his clasped hands. The warm light almost brought color back to Hanji’s still face. 

Almost. 

Her face was dewed with fresh sweat, but he left it alone. Instead, he dug his hand into his pocket to pull out his little package. Carefully, he opened its crinkling brown paper, revealing a velvet box. With a flick of his wrist, the lid popped up, and the modest diamond ring glinted in the light. He pulled the ring out and set its navy blue box on the nightstand beside him. His trembling fingers rubbed at the gold band. The light caught the etchings of an engraving on the inside of the ring: “LH 1918”. He pulled back the bed sheets just enough for him to gently take Hanji’s limp left hand in his own. Then, he slipped it down her slender bone. Closing his eyes, he brought the stone to his face and pressed his lips to her finger. He sighed as his nose traced over her knuckles, her skin still so warm against his. His eyes opened. Lacing their fingers together, he brought their hands into his lap. His legs relaxed. 

Rolling car tires crunched up the loose cement of Levi’s driveway. Bright headlights lit up the room before the engine was killed. He made his way to the front door as the car door clicked open and slammed shut. Before the doctor could even knock, the door flew open.

“Hello,” Doctor Yeager scowled as he removed his hat, pinching it in the hand that held his polished briefcase. 

Levi nodded and gestured for him to come in. 

“What is your name,” the doctor clicked his tongue, unabashedly staring at the jagged scars that tore his face apart. 

“Levi Ackerman.” 

“Well, Mr. Ackerman, let’s get on with it.” 

“Right.”

Levi turned on his heel and strode down the hallway, the doctor close behind him. He stopped dead in the open doorway. 

Hanji had rolled over, the bed sheets pulled over her ear just how she usually liked to sleep. The corner of his mouth twitched. 

“This is my fiancee,  _ Doctor  _ Hanji Zoe.” 

They went into the bedroom. Doctor Yeager’s eyebrows shot up. 

“She’s a doctor, you say?” 

Levi sat on the edge of the bed by her covered feet, his arms crossing over his proud chest. 

“Yes, she is.”. 

The doctor nodded, setting his briefcase down. 

“Could you please wait in the living room,” he asked, his green eyes flashing. 

Levi’s shoulders fell as he got up and walked out of the room. Hanji’s bedroom door clicked closed behind him. He shot a venomous look over his shoulder as he made his way into the living room. 

His anxious feet paced about the perimeter of the room for what felt like hours before Doctor Yeager came to find him. The older man plucked disposable gloves from his hands, careful to pull them inside out so they wouldn’t touch his clean skin. 

“Where is your trash can,” he asked, gesturing with the gloves in one hand. 

“In the kitchen, up against a wall. You won’t miss it.” 

After a moment, he reentered the threshold of the living room, jamming his fists into his pockets. 

“How is she,” Levi broke the silence between them. 

The doctor’s shoulders fell just an inch. 

“We should sit while we talk.” 

Levi shook his head, his bangs brushing his cheeks. 

“No, just give it to me straight.” 

The doctor’s eyes were low as he sucked in a steadying breath. 

“Alright.” 

Their eyes met, lines of sadness creasing around the older man’s brilliant green. 

“It is unlikely that her condition will improve. It is unlikely that. . .” 

“That  _ what _ ,” Levi’s quiet voice deafened the room as he took a step forward and gripped Doctor Yeager’s bicep. 

The doctor winced, and his hand came out of his pocket to fall onto Levi’s. He relaxed his fingers a bit but did not let go. 

“It is unlikely that she will regain consciousness, that she will survive this.” 

Levi’s hand fell to his side while Doctor Yeager went on speaking, but everything was drowned out by the rush of blood in his red ears. It was all he could do to just keep breathing, to just keep standing. With his head hung, his hand twisted the brass knob and opened the front door. 

“Please,” his voice broke, “just go.”

The doctor slipped his hat back on, but, before he stepped out of the door, he gently took Levi’s elbow. 

“Don’t worry about payment, Mr. Ackerman.” 

The lump in his throat choked the words from leaving him. The doctor left, closing the door behind himself. 

Levi’s shoulders slammed into the wall behind him, and he slid down, his legs curled up against his chest. He wrapped his arms around his shins and rested his chin on his knees as he drew in a shaky breath. His mind wandered back to the note he had left for Hanji all of those years ago. Even though he couldn’t remember exactly what he had written, he knew the resolve in his heart to leave her was so that he could avoid the pain inside of his heart that now threatened to consume him. 

But he had promised her that he would never leave her side again, and that was exactly what he intended to do. 

Levi picked himself up and timidly walked back to Hanji’s room, switching lights off as he made his way down the quiet hallway. 

And there she laid, curled up beneath the comforters with nothing but the flicker of warm lamplight to keep her company. Closing the door behind himself, he flicked the light off before circling round the bed. He pulled the sheets down enough for him to climb in beside her. His arms encircled her waist, pulling her against him with his nose nestled into the gentle waves of her hair. She smelled like his bitter aftershave and salt. He heaved a deep sigh as his dark eyes closed for a sleepless night. 

*************************************************************************************************************

Two days and one night had passed since Hanji had lost consciousness. It had been almost a full 48 hours since she had last sipped water. Levi struggled with the nervous knots that tied in his stomach as he cooked scrambled eggs in the kitchen.

He grabbed an onion from the fridge and began dicing it to throw into his breakfast-dinner, anxious to stuff himself as quickly as possible so he could return to Hanji’s side. 

The autumn breeze made the thin drapes in her bedroom dance about the evening darkness. She breathed deeply, her mouth almost watering for whatever delicious smell wafted into her room from the kitchen. Her face scrunched up, and, weakly, her hand rubbed the sleep from her eyes as they fluttered open. Then her fingers inched over the cold sheets, her chest falling when she realized Levi was not beside her.

Even in the darkness, the glint of the gold ring round her finger caught her eye. Her heart leapt into her throat when she realized his proposal had not been another fever dream. She kicked the blankets off of her body, and giddy goosebumps trailed up her skin. 

Clearing her dry throat, she sat up and gave her light head a moment to readjust to the sudden movement. Her muscles ached when she stretched her long arms above her head. Then, she combed her fingers through her knotted hair before her stomach rumbled. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she gingerly stood. The bones in her feet cracked as she tested the strength in her legs. Quietly, she opened the bedroom door and walked down the hallway. 

The eggs were almost done, but he knew they’d be even better with a bit of cheese. Levi turned the stove off before whipping around to the fridge. With a yank, the door opened and he grabbed the waning chunk of cheddar. But, when he stood up, it fell from his hand as his eyes fell upon Hanji. 

She leaned against the cream wall, her freckled cheeks as rosy as the day they first met. 

“Oh, my God,” he breathed, slamming the fridge closed. 

She bit her pink lip, fighting a smile as Levi came to her. 

Their fingers met, lacing together. He squeezed her hands before wrapping his arms around her, bringing her into his embrace. Her heart beat against his chest, as strong and as steady as her hands. Levi nuzzled his face into her collar bone with his nose pressed against the soft flesh of her neck, and he sighed as he felt the coolness of her skin; her fever really had broken. Her fingers twirled around the tendrils of his inky hair when she rested her cheek on the top of his head, her other hand petting his back. 

“I was scared that I’d lose you,” he whispered past the thickness in his throat. 

She smiled freely, her arm resting over his shoulders. 

“I pinky promised you I’d survive this.” 

He chuckled, lifting his head to look at her face. When the burnt brown of her eyes met the gray of his, her chin tilted towards his pale lips. He closed the distance between them. 

When their lips met for the first time since the war, he tasted summer in her veins. 


End file.
